i was shrooming and she was sobbing. i was trying to be sympathetic, but i could see the veins working like worms under her skin. and then her face stripped down to the muscle.
what was she crying about?
i wanna say it was the lack of skin on her face but maybe she lost her job.
My mind says no, but my body says yes.
What does your body say about chlamydia?
so she asking me "is it okay to have dangling labias?"
His mom just asked me if I was "fooling around with her baby again" and then when I walked downstairs his dad YELLED "Look who's taking the walk of shame!"
You really need to stop fucking dudes who still live with their parents.
The size of her hoop earrings are directly related to how much of a slut she is.
She has 260 profile pics. In 260 she's ugly and in 255, she's making the peace sign with her hands...
someone to text and fuck? since when does that constitute a relationship?
since 2006
It's one of those mornings where you wake up and want to go to church for the first time in ten years. THAT shameful.
Just ate tuna on a frozen waffle because we were out of bread.
This is why you don't have nice things.
ACTUALLY FUNNIEST MOMENT OF THE NIGHT WAS WHEN YOU WERE TALKING TO HIM AND YOU SAID "WHEN YOU MEET ME IN REAL LIFE I WILL BE A LOT ANGRIER." And then he said "WHEN I MEET YOU IN REAL LIFE I WILL BE LESS DRUNK, HOPEFULLY."
he told me that he only likes small dogs. I should have known he was going to end up being little bitch.
listen i get youre a daddy dom but that doesnt give you a pass to make dad jokes
Why thank you for your unwanted opinion, person I've never met before.
Drunk you wants to be petty, not you you.
You laid on the floor and pet their rug. and then demanded Voss water.
Randomize
