Potential corruption. He's 19.
Get them while they're young!
First order of business is dropping my 9 am gym class. I'm sweating pure vodka.
Ask politely.
Fine. Can i please come over, hang out with you, sit around a campfire, smoke tree, listen to sublime, and fuck the shit out of you?
Thats good enough.
He sat there and debated the pros and cons of hooking up with me
Drinking wine in my childhood bed getting ready to go to sleep in order to wake up for my menial temp job. Thanks, college degree, I can handle the real world.
He said my labia gave my vagina a "cute personality"
afterward, he apologized, hugged me, and then gave me a granola bar and said “this is my apology gift.”
Well, I had a dudes gf walk in on us the next morning but nothing during...She shook my hand after I got dressed and said "nice to meet you with your clothes on" best moment of my life.
after giving head I just always feel like I need like. ice cream. as both a means of getting the lingering sperm out of my mouth, and a congratulations.
Star Trek does not adequately answer all the questions that I have about alien genitals
You were mean to me and you broke my heart and hurt my feelings. You dont get to talk to me about Peter Dinklage
Stop leaving buckets of wine at my house.
I'd like to have a moment of silence for all the dicks she's broken off
That's a gentle way of saying I passed out like an 18-year-old on his first trip to Tijuana
One lone grasshopper in the whataburger bathroom. Don't know how it got there. Scared the fuck out of me. Also puked over the side of the silverado fence. The horses looked disappointed. Animal magnetism is beautiful. You taught me well. I love you.
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