he got wood on it!
i know. i had to sit in his lap on the plane. he also wore teva sandals.
...i was talking about hockey
when people say theyve been sober for however many years is that like couple beers not drunk sober, or no drinking sober?
dude totally just got the jungle juice out of my white top. i am really ready to be a trophy wife.
official worst smell ever. a used condom that has gone through the dryer.
i carry sandwiches in my pockets more than any normal person should
Note to self: Not getting laid all weekend makes girls in mondays classes racks seem enormously bigger.
She's dressed as Musafa. How could this not be a good idea?
My mom said "I don't want to fund your drug problem" so she gave me a gift card to the book store. I now have a 420 page book on growing weed.
I've reached the slutty point of no return. And it feels like multiple orgasms and coke lines
I wish I could walk around this campus with a big stamp that says "Approved" and just stamp girls asses as they pass.
It was worse than that time I did shots of BBQ sauce and pierced my own ear with a thumbtack
Whatever you didn't send me pics of you topless making bacon
I think you'll be amused to know that I achieved the impossible feat of tripping over my own dick
Call me Sherlock Holmes, bitch.
So I figured it out. There's two types of shitters. Moaners and grunters. And on occasion there's a third. It's the ill fabled grunt moaner.
Randomize
