My Vagina smells like Nemo again.
My poo smells like dog food. That's how I know it was a good night.
If you're trying to piece together your night, I can tell you where those tassels came from.
I need to have sex with you on our hotel room window ledge... This is a need not a request.
Whiskey + Water + Crystal Lite does NOT = refreshing summer time drink.....
Why do you need me to cover for work?
I wouldn't say NEED but lets just say I smell like guacamole and semen.
Only you would have to block the fucking governor of Tennessee from reading your tweets
He was respectful of both me and my One Direction calendar.
im far more worried about your salsa intake than your weed intake
Do you rver get that feeling like their are poprocks filling ur boday?
I'm just impressed that you can puke without losing your gum
tbh i just wanted to fuck a guy with forearm tattoos but then he was so FORWARD about it
I'm on the fast track to lesbian land
I walked over and you were apologizing to him because you're lady gaga and he's not. The best part was that he forgave you.
U just kept yelling her vagina wasn't a priority bc u had a bowl of cheerios calling your name
Randomize
