I'm glad girls dont get visible erections
But, it would have made life so much easier...
looks like were buying each other an abortion for our one year present...
God Help those hot young girls. It's going to be like Bambi in iraq. Except worse.
I was passed out on the couch, she literally cut my boxers off with a 8" chef's knife and had her way with me.
do you think I can still get an erection if I donate blood today? this is important.
I'm sorry. I know you didn't expect me to be arm deep in vagina when you walked through the door.
I've started making all these amazing things...like bananas rolled in doritos..bandritos.
The only requirement is that his name is Kevin... All other factors don't matter to drunk me. Drunk me likey Kevins.
Mcdonalds hasn't even finished serving breakfast yet and u two are getting drunk?
I LEAVE YOU TWO ALONE FOR 45 MINUTES AND ALL MY WHIPPED CREAM AND CONDOMS ARE GONE
You know where a good place to spend summer is? In your head. High as shit. It doesn't matter where you are.
The fun I thought I would be having now when I was six is vastly different from what I am currently doing. Hurraaay sex and vicodin.
yea sometimes its awkward. but when you're a straight bartender at a gay bar and everyone knows it, they all think that they can make me turn gay. its like oh yea dude that extra $20 tip makes me want to suck some dick now
He also told me he would eat mozzarella sticks before having sex with me so I'm mad at him.
YOU HAVE PISSED AND FUCKED ON LITERALLY EVERYTHING IN MY HOUSE
Not everything, just a few things. And only a few times. The odds are really not all that bad when you break it down.
you’ve pissed every time you slept over. there’s no such thing as odds anymore. it’s guaranteed
Randomize
