just found the land before time on youtube... I'm so fucked for finals
I can't get away from Pickles they're either stuck in me, in my mouth, or I'm stuck in one. fuck my whole entire life.
I was more traumatized by the table collapsing while i was going down on you.
When you went through airport security you asked if the could check if a baby was in there. That drunk.
And dont tell me its his job to cockblock me just because he's my boyfriend.
I remember desperately screaming that I love my life and running in zig zags all the way home
you're expensive. Idk about all this. What happened to free make outs?
Sobriety and mild self-respect
I think my hookup is starting to fall for me. Time to break his heart.
I just contemplated drinking cheese dip. And by "contemplated," I mean "attempted and was forcibly stopped from."
I walked in, the bartender looked at me, grabbed 3 shot glasses and a pounder. Lined them up on the bar then made a line with salt on the other side of them and said I wasn't allowed to cross it.
You are cordially invited to an I'm not pregnant laser tag celebration tomorrow. booze is optional.
we should start a freak-out-the-cashier-contest. I just bought JerseyShore Season2, red high heels, and nipple soothing pads
On the bright side, only one more day until we aren't sober anymore.
she broke a 50 dollar bottle of alcohol. then passed out in front of her car and got sprayed by a skunk
how do you say “i know we haven’t hung out in a month, but i gave myself an amazing orgasm to your picture the other day” without coming on too strong
Randomize
