I just wish we had the ability to download food from our TVs.
clay aiken is like melissa ehteridge without the guitar.
i always forget guys have bellybuttons
I literally just watched a girl motorboat herself
Definitely just saw the guy I went on a date with Friday night dressed in medeival knight gear on the quad preparing for battle. Oh my God.
she had a my little ponys comforter. i left when she went to the bathroom
Do you think Tom Brady went home tonight and changed his facebook status to "pink with lace"?
It's shedding
I told you penises don't tan
he tried to do a one handed cartwheel to showoff but knocked himself out cold. fuckin jagerbombs will kill that man.
We were having an argument with his friends mom about whether it was worse that he bootycalled me at 4 a.m. or that I bootycalled him at 12 in the afternoon
Lost my virginity dressed as catwoman. He was dressed as batman. Glad I waited.
There should be a company that sends nadgrams. They're like candy grams except the recipient gets kicked in the balls.
Never in a million years thought I would have to put jello shot recipe/equation into an excel spreadsheet
I wish there was an emoji for sad lady boners
he would NOT stop making out with my stomach! creeeeeepy
Randomize
