the #6 from wendy's when stoned is definitely better than sex. i dont care what anyone says.
my quiz for the book was only 2 questions and my one answer was sorry and then a sad face
Sometimes i wish my penis was detachable that way i could take it off sometimes so i wouldnt get into these situations
I wonder what my nutrition professor is going to think when I have to put 21 keystone lights, a bottle of merlot wine, and 5 rum and cokes and 4 shots of tequila on my dietary analysis
He's crying and calling me out on using him. It's awful. And I'm too drunk to leave.
Also, fighting a very strong urge to nickname your dick Whitey Bulger, at least for today.
He threw up in a cup in the limo and when he got out the bouncer told him he couldn't bring drinks in so he gave the glass to that dumb girl we brought with us from c street.
I know, she tried to drink it
My professor just told me I'm living a lie and I found puke on my pants. How do you think it's going?
Was that your vagina? Received a text pic from a number I didn't recognize. Shaved, so no hair color cues. But it looked like your lips.
who is the naked dude on the coffee table
thats jeff, jeff is nice so don't be rude
I was going to do a cardio thing but then tacos.
He interrupted me giving him head to ask if I were hungry, because he wanted to eat pizza. Wtf.
I swear to god if you settle for a trump supporting packers fan, I will not acknowledge your children. You're better than that.
Already doing pt exercises by picking my margarita up off the night stand. Fuck yeah.
She said she hasn't cheated on me in 7 and a half days and she'd like praise for that.
Randomize
