so was this before or after i puked down the ice luge?
I was so high i started crying when i saw how much puppychow was there.
i just saw her new tattoo, how much more trashy can you get than having "taste the rainbow" on your body for the rest of your life?
at least he left the skimmer on the side of the pool so i could fish out my thong in the morning
don't think this is any sort of attachment thing but if I'm going to throw up regularly at your house, I'm going to keep a tooth brush there
Its 6:30 and I'm shotguning a busch ice while taking a shit. Outlook for work today: interesting
I found him. We're on the way back to the condo. He was sitting in the lifeguard stand letting people passing by take pictures of his nipples for a buck each..he made 15 dollars
I take back all of the insults I've ever said toward those money makers
Thanks for buying me a sippy cup, its so pretty and everyone keeps telling me its probably the best gift anyone could have given me
Find a vagina and bring it to me. Like feeding a tiger.
I just found a contact in my phone named "Sam 'it Won't Fit' Wilson". No clue when or where it came from....
you don't understand it took me an hour and a half to escape that bed, I had to memorize his sleeping patterns.
I'm too depressed to masturbate. This election is the worst.
I feel like a weird modern Betty Crocker. I'm icing a cake and looking at gay porn, if that's not an accurate portrayal of the 21st century idk what is.
I could be the Kenny Powers of Sex Therapists.
So I was having a really bad night...so I decided to steal a pumpkin.
Randomize
