he just kept saying that he had liquor dick..then he tried to fuck me without removing his pants.
1 stripper is 160/hr. 2 strippers is 280/hr. it would be fiscaly irresponsible to only get one.
this ugly chick literally cried last night because i wouldnt let her give me head
doing lines of blow through a tampon applicator in the study lounge at 7am so i can finish an italian composition that was due a week and a half ago...such a good student.
I find it ironic that im starting my birth control on mothers day.
it was literally the size of a crayloa marker. i didnt know what to do with it so i just sat there
was it good sex?
i mean it was good for how drunk we were. and for how big the closet was
Brought 2 entire pizzas with to the bar, everyone loves us
The best way to start drinking is as early as possible. eg, this bar isn't open but we're patiently waiting outside. That way you're confident and exciting when the talent arrives. Or too drunk to care.
You say you're gonna take rehab seriously... but i keep imagining it as a training montage for you preparing to snort all of columbia.
That actually is really sweet of you
And I might get them triple pierced after that
Damn, I didn't realize you'd declared war on airport metal detectors
I don't understand why you aren't on this trip all I do is smoke weed drink beer and get fingered
almost just sent your mom a dick pic. almost.
You think your roommate is bad? The guy they paired me with is such a nerd, his very presence at a party blocks every cock in the room.
So chicken strips and confidence do not you make you sober.
Randomize
