Why is my head in the toilet this morning but there is vomit behind the toilet
i hope you realize that ur overconfidence only gave me one orgasm out of all the times we had sex. that's like a 1% success rate. u might wanna rethink how amazing you are.
KATE. I JUST NOTICED THAT LOWERCASE D'S LOOK LIKE SLIPPERS.
she was on her period so I asked if she wanted to make ass babies
bio was interesting today. swabbed my mouth to see what the cells where, ha. found a sperm cell. he was just that awesome
Before attempting to fly away into the night you asked me to take care of your sister. I agreed.
you kept telling us that in dog beers you only had one
It got messy; I did a shot of seamonkeys.
In the pictures there's a flower in my hair and also a lobster, I need those things explained
Btw he dated my mom. You're Eskimo siblings with my mom. Good job.
Well it's like a wise man once told me: "If you're going to shave your balls, don't do it hungover."
How did you interpret 'wheat thins' from 'vaginal trauma'?
Honestly the prospect of dick really lifts a girl's spirits
No I will not paint you for Mardi Gras in town. It is going to rain and you don't need another ID charge
This is like the fourth time this month I've woken up hungover in someone's backyard
Randomize
