i met him on craigslist. and no i'm not a hooker.
The night began with "let go home early so we can study for my 9am final" and ended with "show me your boobs for a free pack of gum".My breasts are worth 14 sticks for a dollar.
Goal for tonight: Make one last drunken mistake for the semester.
you were so high you were expressing yourself in action figures
Friends help friends remove their foot from the sunroof after an epic smoke sesh.
I would never do this in real life. It's only college.
And then. You beer bonged 3 tall boys. In a row. Fell into some kids lap. And pulled down my shirt trying to get up. Thank you for that. I got laid
I'm using my breathalyzer result sheet as a coaster for my 40.
Well at least I still have a burrito in my pocket.
I'm using the Malibu pitcher you stole from the bar to make pancakes this morning. It's actually working really well.
My weirdest encounter with a stranger though was when for some reason they just gave me a box of unopened socks. Needless to say, I never used them.
woke up and you werent here...its ok if we're never going to speak again but my furry hand cuffs are missing and i would like them back. thanks.
the universe is starting to freak me out.. ive now had sex with 3 people who were born on the same day..
He saw me naked after our first date and still asked for a second.. so I think we’re doing good
sorry i was ignoring you last night i accidentally did a bunch of pcp and thought i was inside tron
Randomize
