Can you return condoms to CVS?
Only if you return your pride as well.
I know it may not be fiscally responsible to pregame fifty cent night, but I'm gonna go ahead and do it anyway.
I'm not going to fuck him in his Honda Fit. That's gay.
What's the protocol on showing a video of me sucking the life out of my ex in order to prove beyond a doubt that I give great head???
I just told you I can't. My fingers are melting. I have discovered the high.
I don't think there was a moment this weekend where grey goose did not course through my veins
And after we were done he said "Let's play a game! Who can find their clothes first"
I just hope when I turn 21, it doesn't tank my entire semester.
Who spent today in nothing but a vajazzle and candy thong? SORRY NOT SORRY
Last night I was this close to hooking up with someone called "Handjob Pat" dubbed for the time he paid $150 for a handjob in Canada.
If I die, let him know that his penis was the last penis I saw. And I'm happy about that.
Having weed delivered to your door is like having your own personal Santa Claus
Sorry I twat blocked you earlier I didn't know Sam was over. But, my house my rules, I don't have to knock before I enter. I did see naked butts and smelt "Sex Stank" in the air, we're going to have to set some ground rules when I get home. Hugs and kisses..Mom
Dude in the stall next to me shitting and sobbing. Dude another stall over, "Come on bro, you gotta loosen up." This is why I don't shit in public.
What's the blow job-backrub exchange rate these days? I've got some killer stress knots
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