i'm pretty sure you said "blowjob marathon" lastnight
i totally said that
so she asked me if I thought she was fat and naturally I said no..... but I think she might catch on
who is she? I really hope you have an explanation cause either you think I'm fat or you're cheating on me
Now would be a good time to set your alarm to pick me up from jail in the morning.
all i remember is screaming butter knifes are for pussies.
The meeting is at the same hotel we go to for sex. Avoiding eye contact with all the staff there.
U should feel bad.. u r like a sex politician. All talk and no follow thru
THIS IS NO TIME FOR SHAME JOSH. JUST GOTTA GET IT IN. PURELY FOR LEVELING UP PURPOSES
I'm resourceful. I forgot we don't have coca cola so now I'm drinking Jack & Dew or Mountain Daniels. Also, I haven't decided on an official name yet for this drink. I'm leaning toward Jack & Dew
My penis needs a shock collar
I hooked up with a guy that had a beard last night felt like I was building a fucken log cabin
I'm eating Doritos at 9am because last nights weed is just now starting to wear off
She's chasing her own tail and is afraid of her own feet. My stoner cat, ladies and gentlemen.
He does have a nice smile. I also like to think he has a nice penis, but that's just a prediction.
I've got 3 hot dudes surrounding me. It's the Bermudick Triangle.
I am in the parking lot of CVS in Auburn. I think a truck full of Plan B and regret just arrived.
Randomize
