thought so. i woke up and he was playing with my eyeliner. I MAKE GREAT CHOICES.
id like to point out that while i was just peeing a condom fell out of my vag.
I think I've hugged the toilet more times than I've hugged my own family members.
I am too drunk to make real decisions. I had pop rocks all over my ass earlier. This is not a joke.
I'm love that we're talking about a possible 3rd 3some, and that you're going to be a dad.
Well there's nothing more unattractive them a naked, soft man crying
Oh good your over him
I wore a firefighters hat and drank beer all night. They had to drive me home after breaking the beer pong table, they told me I was welcome back tonight though...
I don't understand how 5 bottles of booze became normal or acceptable per 2.5 people
he used the hotel microwave to cook the 16" pizza he bought at the walmart deli
He used a "food city great value" card to cut it
Lets both be adults and never talk about last night again.
You rope them in with the looks and the boobs, and I'll bore them into submission with random trivia. We can't lose.
I was his one phone call from jail and I hung up on him. He's fine though were gonna go to a party now.
I'm drinking vodka out of a water bottle at work. Am I really the best person to come to for life advice?
Are you ok?!
I assume I've stopped bleeding because I haven't passed out, but can't verify currently.
The good thing about country bars is that the men generally look like men. The bad thing is the country music.
Randomize
