Most awkward thing ever just happened. I was reaching in my purse to get something and a condom fell out into the woman's lap next to me. At least she knows I'm safe.
I found my crush's facebook page. And his wife's. Apparently they are still in love. Of all the people to have happy marriages! Fuck, I'm depressed.
WORST DINGLEBERRY EVER
I think I'm going to die by hangover. I'm in my spanish class. So I guess I'm going to be muerte.
just got a girls number while on a 5 am adderall cig break this is college at its finest
Just once id like to sleep with a man who i havent thrown up on
We're attempting to get a tally of how may people puked last night...Please respond with your vomit status.
I'm at about main and main street
Quesedillas should not make me weep and drinking water should not make me feel like god is giving me mouth to mouth. Never again.
There's a naked man in my car right now.
We're not piercing ourselves today.
friends are allowed to bang on New Years, I read it on the Internet somewhere.
My vagina is no longer accepting new clients.
While strippers were eating ones out of my boobs, several sources claimed trump shared classified info with the russians. We should get hammered on Mondays more often, bitch.
He broke both of his legs jumping out of a window to escape a coyote.
Randomize
