apparently, it's not a good idea to make jokes about sending newborns through airport security xrays. the moms dont see the humor.
But why'd she put it on the conveyor then?
I need like a "Cookong High for Idiots" book. Or a car.
today's thought: if you're naming your fb album "wEdDiNg dAy!!!!!!" you're too young to get married
I even made an effort to dress like a conservative young lady who doesnt black out and throw up in her bed regularly today.
you fucking puked into the top of the beer bong while i was chugging from it. when i realized i was chugging your vomit, i vomitted on the floor. she kicked us both out.
I don't think requesting him as a BBM contact is proper protocol following vomming in his bed.
You were telling me to give my phone mouth to mouth so it wouldn't die.. Should i be worried for you?
you're the only person I know who would bring a water bottle of screwdriver to a wedding, and toast with it during the speech
I wish you would stop telling everyone that your cock turned me into a Bears fan.
I've been buying my puppy dildos for chew toys. I can't wait till a girl comes over and my dog is gnawing on a giant black cock
Douche bag was crowd surfing, sack punched him. Crowd carried him away in a ball of agony. LIFE=COMPLETE.
I thought I was smashed last night but the girl trying to pee in the fridge had me beat. True story.
Omg have I shown you my skeezy ex fiancée?
The other one.
you smell like cheap hookers & chicken nuggets.
He just kept repeating "It was like meep meep meep on my balls."
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