you want me
i'd rather choke on a dick.
so evidently yelling "gay" everytime your bf tells you how he feels is cause for breakup. news to me
I just figured it out. Meghan has the same smile as Sylvester Stallone.
so when we were booking the hotel and plane tickets for vegas we reserved a chapel for someone, it's inevitable.
So many lesbians keep hitting on me. I'm about to give up and just go home with the manliest one.
I answered the door to some Jehovah Witnesses hungover and wearing nothing but a white tshirt. I think they made it the church goal to reform me, we've gotten four pamphlets. My mom's going to make me convert if they keep coming.
And after getting thrown out of the frat house, getting carried up the hill for a half an hour, puking 5 times, and almost getting stopped by campus security, she still insisted he sleep with her. Gotta give her credit, even blacked she kept her eyes on the prize
I only know two things that kitchen floors are good for... sex and quesadillas that got dropped. You know, the five second rule
I am not even close to finishing violently masturbating over that video.
wellllllll.... I literally just puked in my mouth so perhaps this is not the epic love connection I believed it to be 3 minutes ago.
We got a standing ovation as security was escorting us out of the ballpark, it was a proud moment
Well to me, someone is not really my friend until we go to a mcdonalds drunk at 4am. It's like a right of passage
I'm up in my room and I just saw a naked guy sprint out into the streets from my mom's party downstairs
within five minutes of being here her dog found my vibrator in my bedroom and was carrying it around all proud! and her mom is here. so embarrassing :(
Well when we Get drunk it gets rowdy. We could always attempt self-control. But historically and statistically speaking, we fail at that.
Randomize
