you just started pointing at the light and whispering "star wars"
I sat in the bathroom on the counter and gave out advice to all the random people that walked in
After the baby comes, I'll make us White Russians with my breast milk. That will teach her about sharing.
That's not a good night. A good night is waking up with no skirt, no money, and the imprint of the edge of the bar on your forehead.
Don't linger or you will get sucked into spending the night. Remember the mission mantra: GET OFF
At least one of us had a weekend full of money and dick
I seriously have her in my phone as "Legit 8"...even I'm surprised
Showed up to family party blacked out and in a turkey costume. I'd say thanksgiving was a success.
My flask has coffee in it for finals week.. So that's responsible right?
So, in keeping with the last two years, are we going to watch the new Hobbit movie on acid again? It's kinda starting to feel like a Christmas tradition.
The part where he comes over and ignores you isn't what makes me mad about that story... It's the fact that he ate your tacos, AND THEN proceeded to ignore you. That's cold hearted.
I'm having a hard time eating my sandwich knowing how many different buttholes my hands were in last night.
You're emotionally mature, right? I said you were.
I have at least four things in my line of sight that have Kermit the Frog on them in my dorm. Does that answer your question?
there is glitter all over my balls
you should just get a floor plan of your dorm and start checking off rooms.
Randomize
