I walked up to her and said hello and wanted to ask her if she had fun last night... she asked me if we had met before.
think i got pink eye from a stripper in vegas. showgirls did not prepare me adequately for this. be kind, 2010.
He insisted on sleeping in my bed. Had he taken all of my obvious hints I would have sucked his dick. He only wanted to snuggle. My world has been turned upside down.
There is a limo involved. Man up, and make yourself puke. Its only one more night of blacking out.
I can't break up with him, I ran the math. Taking into account his 7 inch penis and the standard deviation from average, almost 90% of guys should have a smaller penis than he does.
Really? Penis math? This is why guys shouldn't date female engineers.
If you've never been pounded by an Eastern European body builder, I would highly recommend it.
Do you understand how hard it is to go down on a guy underwater? Didn't think so....
I feel like every man should aspire to get a blowjob from a sword swallower.
Sneezing cum all over the table was not the highlight of the family reunion if that tells you anything
If he would've shaved his beard when we first broke up, getting over him would've been so much simpler. That asshole.
Remind me to tell you all about the topless girl on the street who attempted to taze me.
Well I can cross 'get my dick slathered in coconut oil while watching the bob's burgers porn parody' off my bucket list.
Uber driver offered to have sex with me since I went home solo. - rock bottom
Unfortunately i'm awake, hungover, and covered in something I'm pretty sure is Easy Cheese. Send help.
I feel a blackout coming on
Plz don't have me burst into your house saying you're late for re airport to rescue you from a fat girl again
That was 2 times
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