I cant wait to get the disapproving look from this elderly black lady...
You found a girl to hook up with at a gay bar?
No. His name was Paco. I didn't get it by choice. I never had a hickey before.
If my vag had twitter, what do you think it would say?
we were spooning and you were the big spoon but you insisted that I call you "the ladle"
They made my facebook status "I got my period!!!." Every guy I've had sex with at college liked it.
So he saw that playlist i made with his name as the title. i think he's creeped out that I have 106 songs that remind me of him
he had two deer mounted on his dorm room wall with panties and bras hanging from the antlers... i cant believe i contributed to bambi's headgear...
Don't ever tell me I'm a bad friend. I woke up at 7 this morning to drive your mistake home because you wouldn't get up.
I think she was eating a cup of ramen noodles while we banged, or had a seizure
You look cute and you are awesome. And that means something coming from a judgmental bitch
The worst part about being a grammar Nazi is all the porn I skip over because the titles are misspelled
Hey I consider Sunday's trip to the ER a success. You're alive and now you know for sure you're not pregnant. I got my highest ever Tetris score. Wins all around.
My intervention, when it happens, should have vanilla cake....buttermilk icing.
He asked me to fly out to Seattle to participate in a week of marathon sex so I'm at the airport now. I'll call you when I get back.
His ass is a ten, but his personality is a two. Which would average to a six if I didn't have to figure in apologizing to all and sundry. In short hard no. Get a new wingman.
Randomize
