Paul doesn't remember going to the bar and slept on someone's porch...doesn't know whose porch...maybe near Howard U.
Pls stop me from telling anyone else my broken blood-vessel + splint are "climax-related" injuries.
I feel like I had eight dicks in my mouth
Wydf in so deruk i just dowwned a packet if salt waitibg for food at del taco
This is the last pregnancy scare i've had since i was 12 and i thought you could get pregnant from masturbating.
explain the broken jalepenos in my underwear drawer?
I just saw a girl on crutches doing a walk of shame. She is either super dedicated, or her night didn't go as planned.
I'm so high that I'm intently watching my neighbor move his car back and forth in order to put his motorcycle in the garage, and getting irritated that it seems so complicated.
I walked into the living room this morning and he was there with 3 shots in a row. He said it was "tea time."
was his pinky out?
There is a video of you making out with him, flipping off the camera, and holding the plastic flamigo that you had just stolen out of a yard
IM BACK TOGETHER WITH MY BF AND HERE YOU ARE SUCKING DICK FROM 2009
THERE IS A VERY SMALL CHILD YELLING OUTSIDE OF MY DOOR. THE NEXT TIME YOU TELL ME YOUR TOO BIG FOR A CONDOM I'M GOING TO PUNCH YOU IN THE DICK.
did u drive by my house last night?
bc if that wasn't you i threw my bourbon bottle at the wrong van
My dad is sitting where you rode me
I can't go to Fassler and not immediately think about you licking a guys wife's butthole in the family restroom
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