So yesterday I was on craigslist and I saw a listing for a sofa-cum-bed. I knew what they meant...
I cont stop tolking in a british axsent
Had a 3 sum last night, and today food just taste better and the air seems so much fresher!
She got subburned last week and her bikini ties in the middle...when I took off her shirt, there was a sunburned bow between her boobs. Like a present. Happy birthday to me!
this is something i pride myself on being below average for
You need to tell your booty call to take some sudafed or something. I swear I thought you were humping Kermit the frog last night
the orgasm was like being thrown to the other end of reality, so getting a nosebleed from it wasnt too upsetting at that point
Most eventful shower ever. Jacked off, peed and puked in there.
they won't let me drive with my sombrero
He smashed a plastic chair leg on a tree stump, threw himself into the side of our metal enclosure, stomped on the wreckage for a bit and then punched the fire.
Don't come. It's not even a party it's a total sausage fest. Like 20 drunk dudes in a bedroom. We can still drink by ourselves though it'll be ok
He just kept repeating "not with an octopus" over and over for hours. Soooooo Porn Dare was a succes.
What's the address and code again...does anyone need anything and why is my viking helmet on the bed?
I'm taking ecstasy it's gonna be that kind of Vegas trip
Hey, you should go to your facebook ASAP... i'm guessing you're wasted but you just uploaded a picture of someones dick...and everyones taking bets now if its Rick or Mikes..
Randomize
