I just saw the host of Singled Out do standup. Holy shit 1995.
the only thing keeping me going right now is the knowledge that in 2 hours i'll be drunk at the circus.
She was indeed spoonfeeding you potato salad out of that giant bowl with a giant spoon. Dont feel special, she was giving it to everyone that left the bar.
You have to keep an eye on her tonight cause you know how she likes to pickpocket people when she's drunk.
I would have been very attracted to her had she not been reading me my Miranda Rights
BING! You are now free to move about my panties. He just left for work.
That's what you get for doing kinky shit with a guy that lives in his moms basement.
I think the blind guy i flirt with on a regular basis is starting to realize he's old enough to be my father. I can't tell if he's into it or not.
I witness him finger a girl behind the dj decks yet I'm still going to meet up with him. Wtf is my life
Tempting guys with beer and cheese. How Midwestern are we?
All I'm saying is Europe has not been easy on my vagina.
Did you at least know who's jizz it was?
That is questionable.
After this weekend, all I can think about is bald eagles flying in front of fireworks and giving birth to fucking uncle sam. Also, beer.
I just remembered I casually gave you a tour of the house after we boned...lol
Can I use your boat
Also, what’s the deal with international water? Do they have signs out there like a city does or do I need a map?
WTH is going on? It’s the middle of the night
Randomize
