I have no voice and feel like lukewarm beer.
who knew getting puke in ur hair could make it look so cute and curly. minus the crusty puke part
I woke up hungover and opened my laptop to find that i had googled alcoholism again
What happened at the top of the stairs is never to be spoken of again.
I'm taking this break up pretty rough.. I've never been to sad to masturbate.
Its official. 'Jingle Bell Rock' gives me a boner. Thank you Lindsay Lohan & Rachel McAdams.
My roommate's all sad and is crying and the chick I want to bang is in the room and Nic Cage is on fire. What the fuck.
You didn't know it was a gay bar until the 7th guy rejected you. You were crying because you thought it was just a bad night. No more for you.
Took off my bra at the laundry mat to throw it in I am officially white trash
He pulled over in the Compass Bank parking lot so I could dry-heave, but I decided I couldn't vomit there because "I bank here."
I won the 'drunkest person at a family event' award tonight.
i mean ive seen your left buttcheek how much more bro can this get
As a member of the kink community, I feel grossly misrepresented
Let's just say I peed the bed last night, and I wasn't in it alone. Whoooops
I know her cup size but not her name....
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