Apparently when you order 'bottomless fries' at red robin that doesnt mean you can go around to every table and eat all the fries you want off other peoples plates.
Little spoons don't ask big questions
With the way things had been going, I was never more excited for a person to cum
I don't know what happen last night but the fact that it's 9 am and I need to put my dick in something means it didn't go as planned.
Hey remember that thing i said about never apologizing for being a hot mess? Well that was before you found me drunk in the hallway with no pants.
It was weird. Like "Mom, Dad, here's a guy who knows my orgasm face".
THEY NOW HAVE MIXED DRINK EMOJIS! LIFE IS GOOD! PRINCESSES DON'T DRINK BEER
I hope to God it's not the new neighbors having sex, because what I'm hearing sounds like a mildly defective vuvuzela or a cow giving birth.
The amount of effort it's taking me to not shit my pants this morning is probably a sign to slow down the drinking
Mashed potatoes are always the fuckin answer ok.
He said you asked to eat pepperoni off his dick and he thought it was weird
I mean I thought it sounded fun
So, my love of dick may have landed me in a cult. On the bright side, I now have a discount at Spencer's.
Why were you doing tequila shots out of Boston Pizza dip containers?
If sleeping with your boss doesnt scream job security i dont know what does.
Saddle up bitches, we're going to an orgy.
Randomize
