By getting ready I mean putting baby powder in my hair and possibly changing my pajamas to another pair of pajamas
It's only 4 pm and I'm already way past my preferred quota of "could have died" moments
Just mixed my liver cleanse with Bacardi. Best. Thing. Ever.
we just bought Vicodin from the Chinese delivery guy, this day just keeps getting better.
He said his penis was a 1 woman penis with a conscience an I was that woman...technically a declaration of commitment rite?
I keep telling myself last night was not real, not real, not real. Then I remember I can't move. This hangover is too fucking real.
there is a video of me from last night trying to light my breath on fire. that drunk.
i mean, not my actual scene but if someone says "PARTY" ill figure it out
I can't straight up say the only reason I smoked a couple bowls with you was for your three legged cat
Just so were clear your wife is cut off from my dick.
MY GOD DAMN TV STOPS WORKING EVERY TIME I AM THIS FUCKING HIGH. WHY MUST IT TORMENT ME?!
My memory of last night is a delicious blur of tits, ass, and alcohol.
I was on top for a full on make out when in dead silence "I'm moaning Myrtle" came from the TV. Moment ruined. I got cock blocked by a fictional ghost
Your boobs are like a folk legend.
Do you think Root Touch Up or Just for Men would work better on pubes?
Randomize
