She solidified the fact that the icon from Wendy's is the only ginger I care for
your boyfriend is drunk and yelling to the bar that he loves his cats
Going abroad, it was like my vagina was in a candy store... a sweet sweet british candy store
Some ambulance just rolled up to this bar and this girl just hops out of the back and walks inside
please stop judging me for buying a handle of soco on a thursday at 10am. it was on sale, i'm thinking of my future.
I just want to jump into a ballpool of dicks now.
Everyone threw up but him. I took off my shirt because I puked on it. There were also a lot of drag queens involved.
It wasn't like a party or anything. They played PlayStation and talked about sports. Then I threw up on his porch.
there is nothing ok with the fact that that was the 4th time i peed in the same parking ramp
Did you hook up with him before or after he shaved off half of his eyebrow?
I had 17 beers 2 days ago. I'm not dad material yet
Why is there a slipper full of piss in my bedroom?
You got banned for life from a $30 a night motel. What are you doing with your life?
Last night he told me I was never sexier than when I was cutting pizza. Seriously. Like, he's perfect.
i'm now remembering the last part of my nigght....ugh. apperently i bargained with the wendys drive up girl after they closed and got "w/e they had left" for $7
Randomize
