It's not littering; it's giving birds nest building suplies. Besides, birds love soy sauce and plastic forks.
Jon and Kate are totally playing with my emotions.
i mean i care more about their marriage then my own parents
i love that we sang a whole new world together while you carried me through campus
Down at cameli's and some homeless dude just pulled out a taser. Awesome.
My mom's 50 year old alcoholic friend just told me about how she was more whoreish then us at our age. Challenge accepted.
I literally got so drunk last night, I texted myself "porpoises" and that was it. I have no recollection of this.
i threw up in his garden in front of like five people smoking a joint. they let me have a hit after i was done so it was okay
wow, being home for Xmas is freaking weird on tinder. I went to high school with everyone I'm matching... The fact that this many jocks like me now is a huge ego boost from my lack of glory days.
...and I'm done. I just matched two boys I used to babysit without realizing it.
If a marine in My bed is not considered a valid excuse for missing class then I don't want to live in America anymore
I just remembered I made you punch yourself in the face last night and I would like to formally apologize for that even though it was hilarious.
So I don't know, I'm not a doctor, but I might be juggling dates with 3 different guys...
Agree to hang out with him and then take a gigantic shit right on him. Or if youve forgiven him for being a fucker maybe make out with him.
I just spent 3 hours in the back of an unmarked police cruiser. Best. Date. Ever.
Yesterday we were fuck buddies and today I'm meeting his mom. That escalated quickly.
Who the fuck is "nick from the beach last year"
No idea hahaha...why?
He just texted me.. Should I ask where I met him?
Randomize
