doooooooo herrrrrrrrr
I'm out of practice. be my yoda
put your penis in her you must.
is it sad that whenever i need to spell "independent" i still sing that one rap song?
My dad just knocked on my door and told me that my vibrator was too loud
would it be subtle enough if I played birthday sex on repeat while I may or may not be stripping?
I'm doing it for my vagina. You should understand that
I'm pretty sure last night was the first time I've seen someone drink beer-soaked paper towels. Ever.
We couldn't find him for like 4 hours. Turns out he was sitting under a tree and had thrown his phone in a lake because he couldn't figure out how to unlock it. Freshmen.
He rode a broom down the stairs while we were mattress surfing. Naked. Buck ass naked. WTF
my last clear memory of the night was being offered a shot but having so much alcohol in my hands that someone literally had to pour it in my mouth for me. after that it pretty much skips to waking up face down and shirtless on my floor.
That's what tomorrow is for. It's like bloodletting. Except with shame and liquor.
Can you come pick me up and take me to breakfast then the police station?
Where's your car?
The girl I brought home apparently stole it
Just because your gf gives mediocre bjs doesn't mean I can fill that void
I'm currently drunk proofing my room
All I want is to get shitfaced and fuck random strangers is that really to much to ask?
How did I get up here...did jesus lift me up
Randomize
