Oh my god. I just envisioned myself eating panda meat. I need to get out of this class.
That's not ass to mouth..... That a rim job!! Are you telling me she licked your asshole?!
he is so annoying
so stop sleeping with him
yeah but he is so hot when i'm drunk
The bouncer asked you what your sign was and u replied "syracuse"
throwing up turkey will be a nice break from throwing up ramen
Aqua-barf. When you are about to puke in the toilet but pass out face first instead...and then puke. WITH YOUR FACE IN THE BOWL. There is no escaping the puke ring you have on your face. I know first hand.
I don't even see the point of going over to his place dressed anymore.
I hope you fall on your chin.
Jealousy makes you ugly.
Yes I slept with him, he was the only one not wearing a costume. Guys with costumes are just trying to impress you.
Turns out the old man beside me in the waiting room was dead, but other then that it was a good day.
My body is like , remember when you wouldn't let me puke last night? Good luck at work fucker.
Hey, don't think you remember me but we met last night. I'm conducting a survey this morning its only one question: Have you seen Rob since 1am?
Apparently when it was last call I jumped up on the bar and told everyone to get the fuck out, which was immediately followed by a round of applause from the bouncers/bartenders and my tab getting paid as well.
In the future, could you not call me 'bro' while we're having sex?
The sex was so good I feel like I could run a triathlon, hit big at the casino, and defeat ISIS.
A drunk and bleeding peter is knocking on your door... in nothing more than a sombrero, boxers and cowboy boots.
Randomize
