How come twittering sounds sexual?
Because of Bambi.
Don't put random dicks in your mouth or any other crevice for that matter... and i'm home in 30 seconds
Wish I got that text last night instead of this morning.
She didn't know my name but she knew I was Canadian so she just called me Canada. It sounded like the national anthem when we were fucking.
hey, this is the drunk ass freshman from last night. thanks alot for helping me out last night, i'd probably be on some lawn if it wasn't for you guys! and my mom says thanks for talking to her
Everything that you guys said happened came back to me. like a tidal wave of regret.
well i did drunkenly flip his snowmobile going 90, so i can kind of see why hes mad
Funny. I made out with his brother for the first time in a bathroom too.
This is final. The chair stays in the bathroom, we are too old to be puking from the floor, grown ups sit in chairs infront of the toilet to puke.
Or grown ups don't drink themselves into vomiting.
i'd say i'm about at weeping-uncontrollably-in-a-puddle-of-my-own-tears-and-urine level
one more hour of this work bullshit and I'm off to get high with your cat.
Dougie got over his pride nerves. Found him dancing on a float wearing nothing but rainbow boxers.
How hard do you think it would be to make a drinking game out of a Slip-N-Slide? Asking for a friend.
Let's put it this way, there's not many girls I wouldn't let sit on my face
Try sleeping with him.
Why is it that all my gay friends have that solution...
Cuz you will have an answer or have sex.
My favourite part was when you contorted upside down in the tub and said "I don't want to be upside down"
Randomize