So I feel really bad about last night...can i give you a blow job and we call it even?
all i know is that they all tuched my pee cup last night.
I feel like if I were on Intervention, I would have to be a season finale.
You didn't have enough money so you tried to convince the cashier that "four dollar foot long" rolled off the tongue better. Stop drinking. Immediately.
I remember coming home with a cat... I havent seen it all day. Shit.
No you are right. With a nickname like Monster Cock, you shouldn't expect him to want to "just talk". I'd be insulted too
Uh oh I Hage to dance yes, my feet are Whitney Houston
She scratched my sunburn during sex. I didn't know whether to cry or cum
I want to be ashamed of the things we do this weekend
not the best booty call
did she squirt?
only if tears count
He never gives up. He's like the fucking little engine that could of hook ups
Let's just say that the best way to get a girls attention is not to slap her on the ass from the window of a moving cab.
Oh my god. That was the best half-hour of my life that didn't involve genitals.
There's an owl outside. I feel like he's hooing directly at me.
Just got done being naked and Mooning the cops. I'm still alive. Let's drink.
Randomize
