What are you talking about? And how drunk are you?
Both
Another weekend, another 3 guys I have to awkwardly avoid while crossing campus...
Just tried to fight the dj at cowboys because he would'nt play freebird. Pick me up now.
Remind me to tell you the one about the cashier that wouldn't sell me Jim Beam and NyQuil.
Worst case scenario: I have VD and will die. That's the worst that could happen. As long as I'm around long enough to see the winner of bachelor pad, I'm cool
Monday: I just need a drink Tuesday: OMG no more this week! Wednesday: oh shit how'd I get drunk Thursday: I'm glad you've stopped the pretenses
I thought monday through wednesday was a YOLO free zone.
Only thing worse than going to work with a hangover is going to work with a hangover then realizing that u don't have to work that day
Had a guy spin me around at the bar, kiss me then say "oh shit you're not who I thought you were" and then walk away.
I think he's like 40 and maybe a little sociopathetic and i have never been so turned on
Another text to add to the intervention pile, i see
at least its a cool name to shout when he's balls deep in you later
She definitely peed in a bucket in their closet last night. We should warn them about that, right?
You bring me burritos. Of course I text you during sex
I am mildly hung over. Decided pants are very unnecessary right now.
I dont think the chain smoking, tequila shots or cocaine was good for my bronchitis.
Randomize
