I'm so fucking centered right now
I bet when she looks at herself in the mirror she wishes brown paper bags were in fashion.
You should just wear a sign that says "I like cheap Chinese food and anal"
I like taco bell too
I don't even have to turn the heat on in my car. Just fart the whole way home.
What's the most polite way to ask if you puked in my vase?
I don't know if it's the amount i drank last night or the number of taylor swift statuses on facebook but i feel like puking everywhere
My hanfda are one with the u niverse and I am cirretnly inhaling a couch
well, I was going to forgive her anyway but not because shes my best friend and moreso because shes my drug dealer
You asked the waitress what the corking fee would be on the Joose you smuggled into the restaurant.
With a few pieces of metal and duct tape and a bong was created
Are you good with a knife? I need someone to perform amateur surgery.
I need you to go into my room and get some pants then bring them and four band aids to Sam's apartment no questions
Just walked in and got handed a drink. Good service
My god imagine how much cum is in that astroturf
there must be tiny pirates in the freezer stealing our rum.
Randomize
