I'm taking a dump and eating a fortune cookie and it said "Force it to be successful"
I just got three quarters of the way there before I realized I was way too stoned for class so I bought a smoothie and walked home.
I have only been in this city 3 nights and there are already 4 bars I can never go back to again.
Apparently I promised a worker at La Siesta free English lessons to make up for vomming all over the little Mariachi band.
Tomorrow may or may not be a problem cause i'll be wonder woman for a halloween party aka i'll be fucked up & try & jump off of shit thinking i can fly
I shouldn't be that hard, but i cant exactly put "a guy to tie me up and fuck me and then brush my hair" in my dating profile
I deserve to be covered in dicks
Yeah I'd rather get obliterated at home.
Same here. I'd like to ensure that I won't get pissed on.
Also I just took Ritalin with coffee so if anyone wants to know what numbers sound like, I got you
Last night was incredible. I can tell by the nacho cheese on my jacket
What's goes good with Everclear?
Pepto-Bismol and a sandwich.
That was the first time I ever heard of a female getting road head while driving... thanks for the memory and making me happy ending..
I dropped a piece of Mac and cheese in the shower and I almost still ate it. Stoned, but not stoned enough to degrade myself.
I know that whole thing was awkward. Not worth the piece of cake.
you came home and ate 12 bananas. you really didnt think mom would know you were high?
Randomize
