All I remember from last night is puking up a box of cheeze-its and the building catching on fire.
Also there's a dick sized hole in my tights...should I be worried?
Learned my lesson. Pink pantydroppers out of a beer bong=deceiving
Empowerment dancing to Touch Me in the Morning by Diana Ross. Handling this breakup SO well.
Europe's "the final countdown" was playing. It was pretty much amnesty for anything that might happen the rest of the night. It's a rule.
i figured out i could get from the downstairs bar to the upstairs bar AND grab pizza by going through the kitchen. it was the greatest discovery of my life besides the flabongo.
I cant be sure, but i think ive been drunk in this church before.
I'm at his house right now making him pancakes to compensate for YOU not giving him a handjob last night. You're welcome.
Haha yeah my head's fine..sorry about the dent in your fridge.
I almost lit my balls on fire tonight.
I bet his dick wears a tuxedo.
She's been drunk for three days now
Like three straight days. 72 hours
She's been covered in glitter for the last two and somehow she found a monkey
I'm not going to say what I did. You're smart enough to figure it out. But I did it. And you owe me 20$
Please clarify that he is speaking of beer pong and not rough sex
Do you know who changed all my phone contacts into characters from Harry Potter?
He Who Must Not Be Named.
Fuck you.
Randomize
