we used that portable toilet as a cooler to keep coronas. next person who tells me hospitals arn't fun needs to come party in rm 180.
Okay you totally passed out. Ask me about the bike parking garage and the expired baby formula in the morning.
There's nothing more uncomfortable than drifting into sexual fantasies on a roadtrip and realizing you have a boner with three other dudes in the car.
screw that ipod for my birthday.. i just want a weed brownie the size of my face. that's all.
To say the least, now you know you're a proper lady, passing a field sobriety test in heels...
What drink are we having for lunch?
Wearing the 'Let's Party' thong feels weird without you...
What happened to my face?
You kneed yourself in the eye during the Harlem Shake.
It was impressive.
I'm doing running of the bulls tomorrow at 7am...except in New Orleans roller derby girls chase you.
How is it that I, the only one that didn't drink last night, was the only one puking out the car window?
Just so were clear your wife is cut off from my dick.
Idk my boobs are big but i dont think theyre hide a flask in them big..
Ran up to the dollar store to get batteries for my vibrator. Happy Valentines Day!
At least you didn't lose your virginity to chumbawumba
It wasn't my fault.
You let her suck your neck. Yes it was your fault.
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