This got awkward about two "Oh yeah"s ago.
2nd night home for break and we had to call the fire department to keep the house from burning down. At this rate I'll be lucky to see you next semester.
It's a special occasion. Hence the 151.
You know summer is almost over when ur school booty calls start hitting u up as if solidifying their spot in drunken mistakes for next semester
Fucked Zombie Jesus at a Halloween party. I need Plan B before I give birth to the Antichrist.
nothing like a call from your drunk grandpa at midnight on a wednesday to ask your parents if you're registered to vote...
He just walked up to me in the kitchen, pulled out his penis and stuck it in my sweatpants pocket.
It was probably cold. Sweatpants pockets are notoriously warm.
I just almost said to a customer "P as in Pussy"
btw im having a "its finally warm enough for a bbq in Toronto" party tonight. bring all the alcohol you have. and hamburger buns.
You wanna get laid? Be a female for once and stop bending nails to impress guys.
What would you say is the recommended tip for a hotel maid who has to clean up vomit on just about every surface of a hotel bathroom?
So... In conclusion, do I bring my vibrator and risk not only having it getting taken out at security, but also exposing my dad to my neon green vibrator, or just leave it here?
He couldn't get his dick hard. So he started yelling at it. " EVERYONE is laughing at you, you piece of shit no wonder you can't get pussy" i wonder if that happens frequently I'll try again next weekend
Nothing will stop me from making the title of my paper "The Great Political Cock Block." Absolutely nothing.
Alas my dad DD'd me. Legit cock blocked to the highest degree
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