They are baked and once again have spent the last 45 mins talking about opening up a world wide business called "pickle on a stick"
From the trajectory of the puke, I must have fallen off the top bunk while trying to vomit, due to the dented bucket, ruined carpet, and bruised dignity I now own.
I am not apologizing for rubbing my balls on your leg...that is a risk you take when you come out to the bar with me
ugh... I can't wait for campus to get back. Then everyone will have other things to try to have sex with besides me.
the night ended with taco bell and tears
I mean turning down birthday sex is never the answer
Like "oh its Monday, gotta get wasted today!" not "oh its Monday.. Gotta go to class"
They switched jackets and you didn't notice. You made out with both of them and had no idea
our relationship was basically a one night stand, with a three week long, morning after
Is it weird that i want a guy to ask me to homecoming by spelling it out in meatballs?
THATS VERY WEIRD
God dammit. My lube leaked all over my passport
On another note; I'm three days away from being 1/12th of my way from not having sex for a year. I need to get laid.
I'm way too sober and people are way too heterosexual
Just an FYI you do have to wear pants to lunch
Yeah like stabbing myself through the eye with a coffee stir and bleeding out all over the office rug
Randomize