wtf someone played my fucking brickbreaker games and lost i had ten fucking lives. ughhh
maybe you did when you were drunk
no way, i wasn't THAT drunk.
I just changed her number in my phone to "You Wouldn't If You were Sober"
How'd it feel making her break her religion?
you haven't felt a hangover until you wake up after a night of snorting tequila.
Sorry my hands just texted you
he has this weird thing where he watches me pee
he busted into the room with single cheese slices and started yelling "THROW SOME CHEESE ON THAT BITCH"
We used a snorkel as a funnel. Can you say desperate?
i think ive reached a prime reproductive point in my life or somethin- i see gingers and all i want to do is have their babies. like my body knows that i have a to carry on a legacy
Why do I have a vague memory of your entire fraternity climbing in through my bedroom window?
is there a line between daddy kink and oedipus complex?
This love triangle bullshit is getting out of hand. It's now a love polygon and I want out
When we got into his bed, his damn parrot started making sex noises in the other room
Did you throw up out the back door and cover it with paper towels?
I got home and he was wearing a suit. He said he reason was because it was shirt and tie Saturday and that he won't change until midnight. He then proceeded to answer the door in a British accent.
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