Lol speaking of weird...he just sent me a naked pic of himself that said "meow" at the bottom.
thanks for texting me "so many asians" at 1am...
there were a lot.
Hahaha you puked all over his shirt.
You puked in the planter and everyone saw your snatch.
Well someones bitter they didn't get any.
Just croosed over that too drunk for chemistry class line
He kept making me pretend I was his personal trainer. When I swallowed his cum he made me pretend I was drinking a protein shake. Thats actually what it tasted like.
I am too young to be this hungover
Is this your way of saying you want a sober 19th?
How external is "for external use only"?
Happiness is watching your asshole boss' police DUI video.
I just set a bowl of cap n crunch on fire. That high.
The weed is temporarily burning the grammar section of my brain library.
The second I see you we're shot gunning beers
It's gonna be 8 o'clock in the morning
And your point is?
Marry me
We almost ended up sober because of u!!
I have chicken nuggets, lube and brand new batteries, he can stay at work charting all weekend for all I care, I'm set.
I was legit late to work one day Bc it took me so long to get a good nude
I didn’t spend $100 for a wax to sit here and listen to you FT your brother to complain about how bad the Jets are.
Randomize
