tweet Hawks Win!! tweet
That's how twitter works, right?
he is so obsessed with the fact that he works at Apple
i know, its like he jerks off to steve jobs
ive decided something. ive accepted you as being gay. but i havent accepted you as a vegetarian yet.
So I've gone into the break room to heat up a styrofoam cup 8 times over the course of 4 hours.. that desperate to see him. Now I have a broken heart AND cancer.
why is it ever time u get laid i end up having to clean something twice? you have no idea how hard it is to wash smugged ass cheeks off the counter
there not mine if that helps
Oh trust me, i am. It's like magic, but instead of rabbits and doves its orgasms- He just keeps pulling them out of nowhere.
The shit I just took was four, very distinct colors. Jager night was a success
We've cranked the heat for blizzard versions of all of our strip games. Come over.
No piss test, hell yeah
FALSE ALARM. PISS TEST. I NEED YOUR PISS.
So I'm sitting here baked on a bridge thinking about how plants think, I miss you so much
I've literally exhausted all the videos on pornhub. It took like 4 years, but I've done it. I did that quicker than I finished college
Dude, I totally just made my launch phrase on my new phone "Wingardium Leviosa" so that when people try it and it doesn't work I can say, "It's leveeOHsa, not leveeoh-SA."
I will most likely miss you the least and fondly remember you as Mr. "I need a minute" but really need 24 hours and 4 extra inches.
You're the only person I know who's experienced a micropenis and a magnum XL penis
Somehow I don't think offering me edibles is what dad meant by checking in on me
They're the hard candy kind!
Randomize
