For some reason, Oliver from Hannah Montana reminds me of pudding.
That's cute.
Got 6 blowjobs in one weekend... new personal best.
Dude, we totally smoked up inside a church organ last night. Add this to the epic list.
Peed on my phone. Dried it out in oven. Technology is both a plus and a minus.
Oh damn. God have mercy on everything w a dick in a ten mile radius.
I am just going to stick my boobs out and hope for the best
Yaaaayyyyyyyyyyyyyyyyyyyy! It has more than one y so my intentions to sleep with you after the drink special ends are clear
I just don't understand how she's willing to go through so much planning and effort just to get a dick inside of her
HOW MANY BOYS NOT ONLY APPROVE OF YOUR PLAN TO BECOME POCAHONTAS, BUT WANT TO MAKE SURE YOU DO IT RIGHT? One, the answer is one, and he is the best and if anyone ever tries to steal him I can assure you they will never be heard from again
I'm trying to find some better sex background music so his neighbors don't hate us. This is tedious.
I'm gonna adopt her diet plan of secretly sleeping w a desperate ex... It combines excersise & loss of appetite due to guilt
So, I just found out Ireland, is #1 in binge drinking. I know its Sunday but this one is for America.
Congratulations on giving me my first and second hickeys last night. I made it almost 30 years without one, but who needs class these days?
The last thing I remember saying was "Tequila for all!!"
If you count the sounds from the room down the hall....that was definitely NOT the last thing that came out of your mouth.
Same way I cope with everything else. With dildos, dunkin and depeche mode
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