I just changed her number in my phone to "You Wouldn't If You were Sober"
It's like she bought one bad life decision and got one free
We've only been driving for two hours and I'm already down 3 vicodin...I'm not going to survive this family vacation.
At some point we were all eating banana flavored rolling papers.
It'll be like a meth lab. But with jello.
I'm covered in sharpie and the girl next to me just said something smells like fried food. Hint: it's me. Why am I in class?
Can we go to Home Depot next week? Drunk Kim broke my toilet with a hammer.
The last time I saw you, you were rolling around on the ground at the bar.....
.....well it was bound to be an interesting night since I was chasing my pulls with pulls....
I talk a lot when I drink rum. he was going down on me and i was telling him how i wished i could tap dance. oh god
Hey are you going to the pride parade? If so get me a shit ton of condoms
He would come to class in wrapped in nothing but a pink towel
Also not to brag but I got high last night and got us a host family in a chateau in the south of France
I had 2 shots but she spilt one on me. Kinda mad but kinda grateful
Hey do you remember me?
You were a giant banana.... how could I forget.
I think him and kristen are pretty serious now.. I dont think he cheats on her, anymore.
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