M and I are hungry and we are making your pizza in the fridge. But you're having sex and we're not so we dont feel bad.
Please dont use Danity Kane lyrics to describe your emotions.
you kept screaming that dicks were growing out of your back and then you started crying cause they were so far from your vag
could you get any more awkward?
I don't care. He smelled like a fucking chilli cookoff
Have you been tested recently?
Well I got my shots when I was a baby so I think I'm immune
I wonder if she thought to herself "I'm gonna sleep with that guy tonight" when she watched me puke on the bar at 3 in the afternoon?
YOU NEED TO STOP BLOWING DUDES ON MY COUCH AT MY PARTIES
YOU NEED TO STOP PROVIDING TEQUILA AT YOUR PARTIES
My sharpie cut off line was invaded last night. Where's my turtleneck?
I didn't want to but I was drunk in a Disney bathroom with her and had a weak moment.
You rode your bike four miles to my house. Yelled "I'm so high!" Then crashed into his car. It's a problem.
I think one of my ovaries is committing suicide. But that is a topic for another day.
So... I may have accidentally just sat on a strip of a home waxing kit.. naked... Assistance is definitely needed....
I ain't lettin her quit anyway. We don't fuck enough for her to meet the housewife requirements
Vodka Red Bull is like your spinach if you were Popeye
He was fingering me and I came so hard that I actually broke his wrist. We're at the ER now.
Randomize
