ive never been so in love with another man before, in a totally none sexual way... no homo
Yeah no shit. My mom is giving me winecoolers as we watch a show abt alcoholics
If im going to fail a midterm I might as well be drunk while I do it
Note to self glow in the dark nail polish can be quite the mood killer during sex especially when you notice its working for the first time and you stop everything your doing to do spirit fingers
Just realized that St. Patty's is on a Saturday this year in case you were interested in coming to New York and redefining bender with me.
My 16 year old neighbor is throwing a rager cuz her parents are out of town and my brother and I are sitting on the porch listening to A) someone fuck on the trampoline B) a girl bawling about her parents finding out C) someone puking in what we think is the hot tub. And overall we take a shot everytime someone says "bra"
I told my doctor about us having twin chlamydia
He told me we were going to a cabin. It's just logs and a tarp made into walls. This night can go either way at this point.
Now I have the walk of shame to give the receptionist the bathroom key back, I've had it for 20 minutes. I should just smile and wink. She knows what went down.
I'm wearing too many socks to be ok with this.
He kept saying I needed to go to the hospital and it just made me want to call him a pussy so I went to bed
Do him. As soon as possible and as often as possible. That's what Oprah would say
What the hell did you do last night?
I embarrassed myself, my family, name, and possibly my country.
It's an interesting experience to pee while a bird meows at you.
You need to get out of the house more
He said "I can't believe I had sex with a cat lady". Am I flattered or is this a new low?
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