We traveled between two mile markers in 18 seconds. Do the math.
he kept bringing up different times we had sex and i wouldnt say anything back. i would never confirm nor deny the situation...like a politician ya kno
she actually told me to ignore the cokeheads in the corner with knives.
You are the worst kind of disappointment. The responsible kind.
I found out during it when he said "my girlfriend never does this" so he's all to blame, I had no idea until half way through.
He just got home drunk. He ate 5 snack cakes, said Little Debbie's his bitch, went upstairs and fell asleep.
When a chinchilla decides to sit on your face while you're getting head from its owner, you bond.
Seriously, you can't give someone's wife an orgasm on the dance floor of a gay nightclub and then hang out with her husband the following week
I thought my dog was a polar bear. I kept asking how the north pole was this time of year.
I look like a bag of dicks so if you could ugly yourself up that'd be great.
I found her in my pantry with her shirt off twerking...I tapped her on the shoulder and she said she was giving Chef Boyardee a show and to give her a minute...
He came over and watched the USA game with me, fucked me so good my toe cramped, then made my bed this morning before he left. Thank God for Army rangers
I just walked through the door and she ran up to me, hugged me, unzipped my pants and immediately started sucking my dick. Good day.
FUUUCK. sunburned vagina. this is the worst day ever. i'm not leaving my room until it peels.
Quit giving me a hard time, whens the last time you got head every night? Cougars are where its at they dont play games
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