He just said "wow, thats some rly nice hair! And those teeth..thosee are some cool teeth"
she made me put on a condom before giving me a handjob...this is why i hate freshmen
What a good family we'd make, him and I and our kids and his good dick.
Same here... Well I was planning on having some sort of deep conversation, but looking at how grim of an outlook tomorrow has on you, I'll just re-inform you that I have your pants.
We're making herpes jokes very loudly and hoping she notices.
Some girl at the bar was showing us her chipped tooth as a pick up line.
It's not really that big. Girls just think it feels big. It's a cocktical illusion.
You are like a vicious sex animal persistently seeking prey
Screw disneyland. This military base is the happiest place on earth. Even unnatractive dudes are completely fuckable in those uniforms, im never leaving
I just dropped a paperclip into my cleavage while talking to the company president... That's an awkward moment.
Did you at least offer to let him get it out??
It's 4 am here and I just vomited myself awake....Not rising OR shining any time soon
The last thing I remember is goading each other into a vodka-chugging competition.
Comedy Central is in dire need of more sitable faces late at night - Trevor Noah has a baby face - there are federal rules against those types of sexual fantasies
I got a gay guy to motorboat me. These tits could change the world, I'm telling you.
Just realized that I indirectly pay for sex through my cable bill
Wow. He is an expensive lay
I still have to figure out the cost per lay. It could be a financially sound investment
Randomize
