He just said "I made some changes in my life. The male g-spot is in the rectum and I wanted to explore that."
Girl next to me just said "as a guy I used to sweat but not I don't. it's awesome" Oh. My. God.
I was so high last night that i'm 89% sure my roommates set up an obstacle course for me and timed it. Not positive.. I think one of the challenges was pairing shoes
I couldn't even finish, she was lounder and more annoying than DJ Khaled
So I drew a giant robot attacking a city on the chem test. My TA colored in the fire on the burning building
It's a special occasion. Hence the 151.
Okay. I really need to get out of this guys bed and get home. It's two in the afternoon. He's not even HERE.
you can't tell me you didn't shit your pants I saw them in the trash can by the bathroom.
I think that's the first time I've heard someone say "this is the safest way of doing things" while holding half a gallon of jagermeister
Umm... How do I tell my roommate someone shot a speargun through the wall? On a side note, cliff shot a speargun for the first time.
you 2 were alone in the living room and the dog walked in and you started yelling what are all these people doing in here
he congratulated me on my ability to grow long hair after pulling it to see if i had extensions
You want further proof that God hates me? Okay. We're on the way to the ER. A homeless man stabbed me at the gas station.
Cmon. I wasn't that bad.
You stumbled ass first into the litter box, and everytime we tried to get you to move you said " if I fits. I sits."
I just racked up a fucking ginormous hospital bill because I came so hard I had an asthma attack
Randomize
