apparently smacking a customer in the face with his iPhone was not part of the WOW factor we learned in training...
We discussed how the marijuana was making the dopamine float around our nucleus accumbens last night when we were high. Yet another example of how our science classes are perverting our good times.
Just saw a girl i'm pretty sure is simultaneously jailbait and a milf. I never want to leave mexico.
after he fucked me and not his girlfriend, i told him to be a gentleman and close his eyes as i ran to the bathroom naked. so sweet.
your definition of "gentleman" is so absurd.
The family from the blindsided came and talked to us last night. The dad owns 68 taco bells. You would have been so inspired
okay, please tell me Cammy is the one who put the picture and note on my desk saying "beat off to this homeboy"
I feel like I just gave a blowjob to a freight train.
Never use fire and ice condoms with a dude who always claims he "didn't know it was the wrong hole"
My vagina is screaming your name . Wtf did you do to it
Found my ex-boyfriend's money stash. Call the girls, we are getting fucked up tonight, my treat.
I can't believe I came last night staring into my profile pictures eyes.
I mean, he's 40, foreign, artsy but with substance abuse problems and estranged children. How is he not my type?
Tinder date just called. I was supposed to be there 30 minutes ago but I'm on a 27 game win streak in Park...?
Fuck that man! Tell her your dog died or something. Reschedule that shit, you can't stop 2K at a time like that. Ball is life bro... Priorities.
I've decided I will have no shame for the things I don't remember doing.
i asked your drunk ass where the fuck you were going and you screamed “WENDY’S BITCH”.
Randomize
