half the nation just spent an hour watching a balloon fly around. we are officially the dumbest fucking country.
Everytime I walk into a bathroom at school that I've taken a pregnancy test in I get a little bit nostalgic....
THERE IS PRACTICALLY A BEER FUCKING WATERFALL
I want a calm night. Not one where I wake up to you topless and bloody.
I think I want to impress his gay best friend more than him..
Although a guy bought me a shot of fireball last wknd and I told him he wouldn't even get half a handjob for that and walked away so don't tell me I don't have standards
Drunkenly making hamburger helper. I just whispered "I can't wait to have you in my mouth."
And the prospective student I was showing around had to take care of me.
There's no button for "gave my boyfriend's cock to a friend" on my intimacy calendar.
You woke up in between the boxspring and the matress in a random dorm room.
he just asked me that if he was a penguin and I was a penguin if I would fuck him
Wearing panties to a party gives you a whole new perspective on life.
I promise it wsnt a penis when i put it in my mouth
you have to get here a cop came into the bar and she looks like Sarah Palin. I think I'm gonna try and bang her
Whats a little breast milk between friends?
Randomize
