She walked in the room and sighed really loudly fishing for attention. but I didn't bite cuz I don't give a fuck what's wrong with her.
I think I am the only girl in the world who would be proud of these scars from rug burn.
Homeless guy on the metro is drinking beer out of a coke bottle. Hello friend.
I slept with him to see his dog one last time
I have no idea why I said that. I have no idea why anything happened last night, I broke my toaster making a egg. I'm going to quit drinking.
I'm at the perfect height to walk up to the corner of my mom's stove and rest my balls on it. Just thought you'd like to know they're warm.
Chick in class has 69 tattooed on the back of her neck. Target acquired.
From scraping the remnants from a coke bag at a lingerie party to meeting with an 80 year old man to discuss civil rights all in under 12 hours bizarrely feels like the epitome of my life
We bonded over the fact that we each, separately, got arrested on the same weekend.
I will give you the couch, a small portion of the fridge, and plenty of beer.
Got my future figured out. I'm oddly comforted. Thanks, bro.
I left after he drunkenly went into the kitchen and started to make eggs with a shitload of garlic. First time I'd ever had a makeout session interrupted by eggs.
i have too much dick at my disposal? i should make them fight. best dick pic gets laid
At 10 PM you were shit faced in the kitchen makin nachos... Naked. I wasn't sure what to do besides walk away...
Who is naked dude in the kitchen?
The dogs decided to play a new game called "Who Can Scream the Loudest?"
I won.
Randomize
