why is it that no matter what your novelty license plate says it always screams "im a huge tool"?
just throwing this out there: period starts tomorrow sooo either sex tonight or not until tues/weds.
i get a bj anyways so it's really your choice.
k i'll be over in 5.
He probably put up nude pics. He seems like that kind of guy.
New rule : you aren't allowed anything . Ever .
It was actually pretty good. His cock is as fat as the rest of him and I took out my contacts so I couldn't see him clearly.
Upon further investigation it turns out it wasn't blood, but chocolate frosting from the cupcake I shoved in my pocket to "save for later"
I just found the gloves and lightbulb I stole. Did you pee on a ATM inside a bank?
He refused to pierce my nipples, saying they are the best he's ever seen and that blemishing them would be a crime
i think i just asked a donut if it was ok
Like, I want sex but I also would be okay with Netflix
Everclear isn't food dammit
I just want somebody to fondle my boobs while I read fanfiction. Is that too much to ask?
I spanked her so hard I woke up Grandma
Is it too much to ask for 10 minutes of privacy while I masturbate?
I just caught my bangs on fire trying to lite a bowl while driving. Thank god it wasn't my eyebrows like last time.
Randomize
