I’m once again drinking at eight am on a Sunday in my tutu. This garment is literally my best purchase ever.
She can't keep using her latex allergy as an excuse to go bareback with everyone.
Remember when the only STD we had to worry about were hickies? Those were the days
so i am drinking whiskey and watching home alone 2 by myself. it turns out moving to a foreign country isn't all that different after all.
4 girls bringing me taco bell. this is what dreams are made of.
Weve literally been going out drinking five days a week. That counts as a full time job right?
I think we should bring back the casual nipple tassel
I am so proud of him. After eating the rest of our shrooms, he finally registered to vote
Let me tell you the story of bicurious george
Future roommate keeps sending me pictures of cool shit she has for our dorm and I'm just like "... I have a set of Aggie wine glasses a great set of tits."
The guy whose porn password I use finally renewed his membership. Lazy fucker had been slacking all summer.
Let's just wait to see what happens before we start making radical plans and starting fires
there's no judgement here...i was recently just fingered in my dorm hallway while having a conversation with 5 people.
As a gift to myself for being so awesome at being single, I'm going to buy a vibrator
Just remember I’m your roommate with extremely questionable morals
Exactly, what could possibly go wrong
Randomize