marko just referred to some fat asian and a portly friend as Jupiter and one of its moons. unreal. hyte!
Skipped a towel and decided to spit the cum into his face. I now owe him new contacts.
I wonder how many times I can be hungover in one day
I dont know whats worse: her telling me she was so drunk i was "almost sexy," the fact that even when theyre shitfaced, im just "almost sexy" to girls, or the fact that i wasnt that offended by it.
It's sad really how 5 am brings with it a distinction from drunken to pathetic.
Ill give you a 4 hour blow job if you make my nephew go to bed.
I like to take my ritalin one pill at a time with each pill spaced out a couple minutes so I feel like I'm going super saiyan when they kick in.
He held the beaver pelt from the fireplace over my crotch and asked his friend "she look familiar now?", he then remembered my name.
Of all the things that can be stripped of me i'll be damned if it's my vanity
I was afraid she wouldn't be able keep up but I woke up in a bathtub, she called me a pussy and made me pancakes.
is that a sigh of girlish delight, or "sigh...I'm having a herpes outbreak'
Can't it be both?
- I'm finally learning to be functional when I'm high. I feel like this is a milestone.
I'm not drinking for the rest of the week. I need discipline, celery, dick, and a bible.
is it bad that there is a girl in my bed right now and the only thing i can think about is the fect that its after 3am which means i cant order jimmyjohns unitll tomorrow?
Is it bad that whip cream tastes like sex to me?
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