I just got back to Nicks and I shoul dnot have drank this much when I have to work at 7AM!!!!!
I hope that the reason I've been psycho on him is that I'm pregnant and not just psycho.
So he said if we had sex he'd take me to Build A Bear. My virginity is so worth a trip to build a bear.
You're 20.
IT'S BUILD A BEAR!
fyi gin and iced coffee...not my greatest invention
you can feel better about your life now. i slept with a guy who has gold teeth
its sad im about to start saving up for how drunk i need to be for the holidays
It was like being fucked by the god of thunder, he gained power from the storm. I took a Plan B because I don't think regular birth control will stop Thor's sperm.
I know it's not technically the "Mile High Club" but we def need a name for the airport bathroom. Cuz that just happened.
Sex on the scooter in the parking lot wasn't the smartest idea. Actual quote from the cop as he handed me the ticket and fist bumped me.
I wish buying curtains was as easy as buying drugs. I already KNOW what I want and what the outcome will be: awesome.
Moonshine marathon is never a good idea
It's like that thing with the devil and the angel except one shoulder has orgasms and the other has stuffed crust pizza and depression.
Cleaned the whole house at 7:30 and after cleaning the bathroom I think I had cocaine on my sweatpants
on a scale of one to ten where does vomming from being hungover during a professionalism lecture fit
I have sent texts to the pizza delivery guy telling him he was beautiful. Oh and you almost got a ticket for pissing in public. And I smell like cheese.
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