and you said cock pushups were impossible
Please stop trying to convince people that you're retarded and I suck your dick in the same conversation.
Was just shown the photos from a professional photoshoot my aunt had for their dog...not drunk enough for this...
The guy is drinking 5 bottles of beer in a juice pitcher. Fucking amazing.
Just a smidgen more estrogen and shed be golden
She's got a legit dose of dude going on
No kidding. All she needs is a cheek full of chewing tobacco and I'd have fucked John wayne.
I have bruises all over from falling so much last night, I even have bruises on my arms from them picking me up off the street.. Oh vodka nights.
how did you know i stayed over last night?
there was a trail of glow sticks and cheetos from the front door all the way to his bedroom
You are the voice of reason. And I'm bringing wine. Like seriously this is his last chance. Don't touch me once, shame on you.. Don't touch me twice, shame on me
I just sneezed glitter I JUST SNEEZED G LITTER I j u st SneeZED GLIT TER I DO NOT HAVE TIME FOR THIS AT ALL.
I will gladly accept you into my home with open legs.
I just turned down a booty call because I'm having a Star Wars movie marathon
Nice. Make him jerk off and tape it. Send it to his woman. I also love that you had another skype date
I hope that will b the last time i take off my pants in the chemistry building.
Naw dude theres seriously a lobster in my sock drawer. Why?
Just think how much she’ll hate me when she finds out I fucked her father
Randomize
